Reflections

Things have been going well. In the past, I've written to vent, and lately I've really had nothing negative to say. Maybe I've finally turned the corner; at any rate, I hope so.

Hope is an amazing thing. It can change your perspective and make almost any situation bearable. I'd like to say I'm an optimistic, unfortunately, I've always been one to first see the negatives and hope for the best possible outcome. I've never seen the world through rose-colored glasses...and I've realized, maybe it's time to change my perspective.

Negativity makes you tired, dark, gloomy, and generally speaking, makes life relatively unenjoyable.

Recently, rather than walking around with my head down, I've chosen to savor every aspect of my surroundings. Instead of complaining about the dreary weather, I'm looking forward to spring. Instead of worrying about every little detail, I'm stepping back and working on those things I can in fact change.

A large part of my life has been spent on worrying...focusing on other people's problems and issues, rather than my own. I've developed a "poor me" way of thinking. "Poor me" I can't have something I want. "Poor me" I've worked hard, now why am I not getting recognized for it, and on and on and on.

It's not healthy.
It's not productive.
It's not the person I truly am.

No matter what anyone else thinks of me, or my way of doing things, at the end of the day, I go to bed with myself, and I'm still here in the morning.

If there's something I'm discouraged or frustrated with, ultimately it's up to me to figure out a solution.

I've made my share of mistakes, and done certain things in my life I'm not proud of. I'd like to say that I can put it all behind me, but I'm not sure if I really want to. Sometimes reminders of past transgressions can help you in the now; remind me of where I've been, and where I want to be.