It's recently been like a proverbial rollercoaster, only not necessarily a fun type of ride...more like the kind where you're white-knuckling it and hoping the lurches in your stomach will dissipate before you get off.
My energy level isn't where it should be...maybe it's this overcast and gloomy weather combined with lots of depressing and frustrating occurrences.
The good news... I still have a job... and the opportunity to go to school.
This morning, I walked into work to hear a glowing voice message from a director in another department. Apparently my boss and a sales person I've been working closely with lately, made some really positive comments about me in a meeting late last week. It's the little things that keep you motivated...striving to do better, no matter if the situations you face are idyllic. The work-related future looks fairly bright these days...it's just the other parts where I feel out of sorts.
We all have "stuff" to deal with...good...bad...and indifferent, and I suppose it's all in how you handle it...what you make of what you have...even if what you have is not necessarily want or need.
I know what I want and need. I just wish I knew how to get it.
I know what is missing...which is half the battle, right? It also isn't all up to me...and the other pieces of the puzzle choose not to fit in their rightful places.
Change, especially big changes, can be scary...and many of us are not willing to make ones that would hurt or effect other people in a negative way.
Wishing life were simple...
wishing I could have what I want.
Writing about it... verbalizing... telling how I truly feel... has gotten me absolutely nowhere fast...made me even more saddened and filled with discontent. I'm tired of being a big mope...
Oh well...
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