Sensationally Uncensored

Do you ever wish you could lead a truly uncensored life? I mean one where you do and say what you mean and mean and do what you say? Personally, it's been a life-long dream.
If you could only spend a day in my head and realize what I'm really thinking. My face is one that generally tells those who know me well (and often those who don't) exactly what I'm thinking...but to those who are a bit on the unperceptive side, often misread me.
I tend to be sarcastic.
Opinionated.
Outspoken.
Demanding.
To many I'm sure that equals B-I-T-C-H.
Most of the time, I'm really not. In fact, I'm extremely caring and often emotional...and at the true core, a kind and loving person. It's just that I want a lot out of this life and those I choose to share it with.
I'm not quite sure if there's life or something like it after this one, and it's a goal of mine to make sure I live this one to its fullest.
You never really know when your number is up. I could walk across the street tomorrow and be hit by a bus...and I want to make sure that I've told those in my life how much they mean to me...share all of myself in all aspects of my life...love as much as I can...be all that I can be without enlisting in the army...and try to be as REAL and REAL-istic as humanly possible.
A lot of us walk blindly through our lives, letting each day drift into the next without taking time to absorb and breathe in our surroundings. We think that tomorrow will allow us to put off saying and doing many things. Fear can trap you and be an excuse not to put one foot in front of the other. It can paralyze you from walking across the street or taking a turn along the path for fear of the unknown.
For a very long time I've made my best efforts not to be one of those passionless souls who loses sight of the short term...the here and now. I've even grown in strides in order to not dwell too much on the past.
Control. It's out of mine.
Life is made up of numerous little snapshots...pictures of the past and the present and the future. It's easy to box it all up and pack it away and put it all on a shelf and forget about it.
We all get busy and distracted and have the tendency to compartmentalize our experiences and pass judgment based on our own experiences.
Instead I choose to look at every situation from every possible angle and learn from the positive as well as the mistakes.
What an interesting and unique life I've lead so far. If I leave this earth tomorrow, I know in my heart that I've experienced more in this lifetime than many. I've loved and laughed and shared and cried and given almost all of myself.
Sometimes we all just need a little reminder.