I really hate cancer. It's a terrible disease that absolutely no one deserves to get. I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy. Unfortunately it seems like only good people get it. Why am I bringing this up in such a bold fashion? I just finished bawling my eyes out watching Farrah Fawcett's documentary about her cancer and treatment. While in a lot of ways it's a message of hope...one of inspiration...one that made me see her in an entirely different light, it still sucks. NBC5, the local affiliate station here followed it with a story that made me cry even harder...about a woman who through her blog, graphically detailed her treatments, and emotions related to her aggressive cervical cancer. Sadly, she lost her life earlier this year. Please someone, give me a razor.
Anyone reading this knows I'm a cancer survivor...going on 33 years...I made it through a type of cancer the majority die from. Sometimes I wonder why I was chosen to live, while so many others have been given the same opportunity.
Farrah's story in some strange way reminded me all the more, how fortunate I am that someone thought I should stick around for awhile longer. It made me realize even more that I have so many things I want to accomplish...so glad that I try to live my life the way I want to and with who I want to. I'm far from perfect...and I'm never going to be in the running for sainthood, but I try to be a good and kind and decent person. I want to love and live life and love life to its fullest. I don't want to look back one day and realize my second chance was wasted on frivolous things. I want to grow old (not too old of course) and feel like I explored all the opportunities set before me. I want to take risks and win. I want to be unafraid of challenging and difficult things and attack each with vigorous honesty and hard work. I want to always dance like no one is watching and love like it's never going to hurt...and I think I am... for the most part... doing all of these things.
What more should I be doing? What more is out there that I haven't tasted, touched, felt, or seen?
I'm an impatient person. I want all things now...and unfortunately, I can't have all things that I want.
While there is no magic 8-ball to give me the answers and no crystal ball to tell me the future... I know more than ever that I need to enjoy this life as much as possible and live it to its complete fullest. If I choose not to, it would be wrong in so many ways. From a deep and personal place, it would almost be like I was disgracing the memory of so many people that were close to me who died of this terrible disease. I'm never taking my second chance for granted. For those of you who have never been touched by it, let stories like Farrah's and Kindra McLennan (click on her name and it will take you to her blog) serve as a sobering reminder that any one of us could be in their shoes.
Be thankful every single day. I know I am.
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