You Can Never Run Very Far

I haven't been creatively writing much lately. I haven't had the time, nor have I been inspired. I've previously mentioned that I didn't want to post all things gloom and doom, so I decided it best to take a bit of a break. I'm not sure if anyone reads what I write here...but nonetheless, I suppose we all need to have an outlet and a diary; mine just so happens to be online.

Yesterday was a challenging day, not necessarily all bad, but definitely sad. A good man from my past was laid to rest Saturday afternoon. He was someone that in many ways, shaped the person I am today. His son is a year older than me and has been a very dear friend for a very long time. Up until about three months ago, we had lost touch, and yet again, through the magical powers of Facebook, he reappeared into my world like he'd never been gone. It's been happening a lot lately. Several people who had a great impact on my life are now here again, and it warms my heart. For the first time in a very long time, I feel like the person I used to be...happier...a little more thoughtful, and a lot more carefree. In large part, it's because I'm now able to connect the dots and say all that I've needed to...not for them...but for me.

My past...no matter how much I've tried to bury or escape it...is still here...but instead of looking at it like it's a negative, I'm embracing it. People come into your life for a reason, and sometimes they leave or fall away through no fault on either end. Some are lost forever, while others find their way back. I'm discovering that the ones who really matter most will always be there for me...and I for them.

As I tentatively walked up to the casket to say my final goodbye, I saw the body of a man who treated me with kindness and love...treated me like his own child...gave me advice when I needed it...or a kick in the pants when it was necessary. Sadly I didn't get to see him in this life one more time so I could give him a hug and tell him how much he meant to me...how much he meant to this world...how all of the good and wonderful and kind things he did for others...mattered. I guess one of his many living legacies is my friend and my friend's beautiful children...who I only had the pleasure to meet just yesterday. He did an amazing job with his son...he really did. You can see it in the way he loves his wife and children. You can see it in the way his eyes light up when he's seeing an old friend for the first time in a very long time. As I held his son's hand yesterday, all of the feelings of love came flooding back. The joy I feel for having found my friend again is indescribable. It will never go away for my extended family...those people that held me as a child, and teenager, and young adult.

We're all a little older and probably a lot wiser...but when I see one of them...I'm back to being a carefree child. The memories have been flooding my senses a lot lately. It's yet another reminder that I have so many amazing people in my life who recognize the value of true friendship.

Oh how lucky I am!